5 Gifts for the Dirtbag
Buying gifts is hard enough, much less buying a gift for the dirtbag climber on your list. On the surface it would seem that this person needs everything; I mean they’ve been on the road for as long as you can remember, couch surfing and making a home out of their old Subaru wagon. You would think that someone who basically lives in the dirt would be grateful for anything, but the truth is that your gift needs to be functional and practical because space in that old Suby is precious, and whatever doesn’t make the cut just ends up filling space in their poor parent’s house.
With all this in mind and speaking from my own personal experience as both a recovering dirtbag and an enabler to many dirtbags who I am proud to call my friends, here are five gifts that are sure to put a grin on the the stubbled/make-up free face of your favorite dirtbag.
Have you felt the hands of the dirtbag on your list? Does the skin on their hands have the same feel and texture as the stone they have been climbing? I thought so. Whether it is southern sandstone or Yosemite granite, climbing rocks is hard on the skin, and every climber can use a Climb On! Intensive Skin Repair Bar, especially a climber who is living the dirtbag dream. Climb On! Soothes, nourishes, and moistens your dirtbag’s tortured skin, and I guarantee they are too cheap to buy it for themselves, after all do you know how many meals they can get off the dollar menu for the cost of one bar?
Climbing is dirty sweaty business, and the free campground your dirtbag has been crashing at is short on amenities (as you can imagine). The dirtbag on your list will certainly appreciate a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Liquid Soap. Dr. Bronner’s is often called the “Swiss army knife” of backcountry cleaning mild enough to use on your face and skin, but strong enough tackle dishes and laundry. And because Dr. Bronner’s is 100% biodegradable, your dirtbag can turn that nearby stream into a combination shower/washing machine/sink. Your dirtbag will love the fact that they just condensed all of their cleaning supplies into one bottle and your nose will thank you the next time your dirtbag crashes at your place.
When your dirtbag tells you they are living out of their old station wagon, what they mean to say is they are sleeping and storing their stuff in it. The world is a dirtbag’s living room but you’ve got to bring your own seat.That’s where the Alite Designs Mantis Folding Chair is tough to beat. Super packable and incredibly comfortable, it is the dirtbag equivalent of a Lazy-Boy recliner and is guaranteed to make them the envy of every campfire they sit around.
Everyone needs a little extravagance in their life, even your dirtbag. The Nemo Fillo Pillow could potentially be the nicest thing your dirtbag owns, that is after their pack, rack, and climbing shoes. While you can’t beat the view from the bedroom (also known as the rear hatch) it is not the most comfortable of sleeping arrangements. The Nemo Fillo Pillow is super comfortable thanks to inflatable cells, one inch of memory foam, and micro fiber cover and is capable of bringing a touch of luxury to the filthiest hatch back. Everyone appreciates a good night’s sleep, especially those without proper beds.
I know it seems a cop out, but everyone loves a gift card, especially dirtbags. Climbing everyday is hard on gear and hard on the wallet. No self-respecting dirtbag likes to part with their money, so help them stay on the road and keep their dream alive. I assure you the dirtbag on your list has a rope that needs replacing, a pair of shoes with holes in them, or a critical piece of gear they need but are just too cheap buy. Get them a gift card, let them figure out what they need, and become a holiday hero.